I lost all my oxygen…
Cleaning out the junk drawer, I found this magical musical machine. I hope you like my lil’ song and can laugh at this absurd “treat” now and again when you get to the end of this post. Mary had a Little Lamb is better replayed.
Valentine’s Day is a “holiday” that can bring out a mixture of emotions all stemming from the red and thorny rose of love. Now, I realize that not all of these feelings are always warm and joyful with white lace wrapped around them. Many are feeling lonely, missing someone, and longing for lost loved ones in a way that makes Valentine’s Day a real downer.
About thirty years ago, I found out how cruddy a forced day of love can be. I was a high school sophomore dating a cute, athletic, and popular junior. This was the first, and only, time I went out with a guy because of his looks and stats. We weren’t even friends and just knew of one another from school, dances, and parties.
Even though we barely talked, he liked me. When he asked me out (via a beautifully handwritten note), I said yes. He was so suave and quiet (unlike me, an excited extrovert.) I really didn’t know how to be myself around him, so I was thankful that we wrote notes (that’s the way we texted in the 80’s). When we saw each other, I didn’t know what to talk about. It was so weird. We awkwardly dated for three months without a real love connection.
He wisely ended it but did so by dumping me on Valentine’s Day with a half dozen red roses. He put them in my locker, and when I stopped there to get my gym clothes, I was surprised to find such gorgeous blooms. The were big, bold, and beautiful. I pulled out the little card from the pink-hearted envelope. In his stupid handwriting, he wrote:
Sorry things couldn’t work out.
Love,
Confused-Teenage-Jock-Boy-Who-Found-Love-With-Another-Naive-Teenage-Girl
I can laugh about this now, but back then, I was humiliated and heartbroken. When my gym teacher saw me walk in with the roses, he praised their beauty and fragrance. I thought they reeked like Aunt Mary’s bath soaps displayed on the back of her toilet. I gave the roses to my teacher for his wife and told him to buy his own damn card. He thanked me then monitored our dodge ball game.
Wow! I was the gym champ of the day! Within a minute after the whistle blew, I took out five people and a red and white stuffed bear sitting on the sidelines. My adrenalin was spiked by thorns and petals, a horrible combo. I may have been unlucky in love that Valentine’s Day, but I reigned as the dodge ball queen. I stood alone waving the ball in my hand like a trophy. What a metaphoric way to end a heartbreaking day of high school!
I learned then that declaring extra love or breaking free from it on a specific calendar date is bogus. It’s indeed sweet and endearing to be treated with “I love yous” in extra ways, but I think it’s better when it just happens, especially on more occasions than one Hallmark Holiday.
I recall when my daughter Elena was in second grade wondering about Valentine’s Day. She asked, “When is the day that we’re supposed to love each other all day long?”
I kissed her on the head and answered, “Yesterday, tomorrow, and today.”
Love is such a curious thing that changes with each breath. I have been in love with the same man for more than half my life, and I know he feels the same about me. Many days are pure bliss, some are just blah, and others are downright bleak, but we keep working at it and get the best out of each other. Falling in love with the same person over and over again is truly special, but it doesn’t just happen because it’s a prescribed holiday.
Happy February 14th and may love be given to you and by you everyday. Now take another breather and listen to my lamb (not love) song. I hope it makes you smile. XOXO
Days of Part-Time Sunshine 