In my most recent writing course, the professor asked us to contemplate how we reach readers. Hmm… Well, beyond classwork and Facebook posts, I barely do. You see I’m merely a part-time author who battles time, persistence, and focus. I know a solution is to follow a writing routine. Well, I got a better chance of seeing Jesus in a floral robe strolling the beach for shells and leaving footprints in the sand than I do sitting down daily to write creatively.
It stresses me out that I find time for many self-serving habits besides writing. Eating, praying, and loving: check, check, check. I also enjoy journaling, working out, scrubbing toilets, and reading. Sometimes, I pretend I’m studying while researching online deals-of-the-day. That leads to a lot of clicking and eventual ogling over shoe websites like soft, leathery porn. This exhausts me to the point of napping, buying another ebook about better writing habits, and/or pairing some red wine with Goldfish Crackers.
No matter what cute pair of heels, flip flops, or stylish boots I wear, I admit to having a heavy driver’s foot.
Although I regret the speeding tickets I’ve been issued over the past thirty years, I still regress and end up pushing the pedal past the speed limit. I am usually in a hurry, running late, and rushing around. This Speedy Gonazalez persona isn’t good for anyone.
Joy is the giggly giver of happiness, smiles, and laughter. Ahh, laughter, my all-time favorite sport… and I think I am pretty darn good at it too. I could earn trophies for the following laughing events:
Loudest Laugh – Sounds like a megaphone roar
Longest Laugh – The funny moment replays in a loop, resulting in 70,000 minutes of hilarity
Crying Laugh – A transition from the longest laugh, ending in heaving moans, eye spillage, and remnants of giggles.
Nervous Laugh – Pretending to get the joke
Post-Humorous Laugh – Finally getting the joke
Mirror-Length Laugh – Laughing at your own jokes as if a true comedian were in you presence
Har-de-Har Laugh – Filled with sarcasm over a non-funny incident. Moms and teachers often participate in this event.